To the New Parents: Beware the Beautiful Trap

So, you’ve just had a baby. Or maybe you’re on the brink, expecting your first and filled with dreams of adorable onesies, sweet snuggles, and tiny socks that make your heart melt.

It’s beautiful. It’s real.
But here’s what nobody warns you about until you’re in the thick of it:

That same deep love that bonds you to your child can start to separate you from your partner—and from yourself.

Now, before I sound like a total downer, hear me out. I’m not here to scare you. I’m here to warn you. There’s a difference. And trust me, a little warning goes a long way when it comes to protecting your identity, your marriage, and your joy.

Don’t Let the Love Bubble Blind You

In the beginning, you’re in a haze of wonder. Everything is new. Everything is precious. You’re hyper-focused on making sure this tiny human survives and thrives. That’s beautiful and necessary—but it can also be dangerous if you lose sight of yourself and your relationship along the way.

You might find yourself thinking:
“We’re fine. We’re just tired.”
“We’ll have more time for each other later.”
“I’ll get back to my hobbies when things calm down.”

Let me be real with you: later doesn’t come unless you make it. And “when things calm down” might not happen for years.

The Slippery Slope

You start skipping your workouts.
You stop checking in with friends.
Date nights disappear.
Your creative outlets collect dust.
Suddenly, the only conversations you’re having with your partner revolve around diapers, daycare, and who’s turn it is to do bedtime.

Before you know it, you’re living in survival mode. You’re still together—but you’re not really together. You’re co-managing a household, not co-creating a life.

And guess what? That disconnection doesn’t just happen overnight. It’s a slow slide, and you often don’t realize how far you’ve fallen until one of you finally says it out loud—or worse, gives up trying.

Don’t Let It Get That Far

Here’s the truth: You’re going to be tired. You’re going to have moments where everything feels like too much. But don’t let exhaustion and overwhelm steal the richness of your life outside of parenting.

Be intentional. Be flexible. Be determined to keep living.

• Take your kids with you when you can.
• Find reliable, trustworthy childcare so you can take breaks.
• Pursue your hobbies. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day.
• Make time for each other. Not someday—today.
• Stay social. You need adult connection just as much as your kids need playdates.

It’s not indulgent. It’s survival.

You’re not just raising children—you’re also raising yourselves into the next version of who you’re becoming. Don’t abandon that growth.

If You’ve Already Lost Touch, You’re Not Alone

I know this because my husband and I have been there.

We loved our son with everything we had—but somewhere along the way, we stopped showing up for ourselves and each other. Life became about logistics. Parenting. Work. Bills. We didn’t even realize how far we’d drifted until we looked up and felt like strangers.

It wasn’t hopeless—but the road back was steep.
Rebuilding took time. Effort. Honesty. Therapy. Vulnerability. So many awkward conversations.
But we chose to fight for each other. And I’m proud to say, we’re better than ever.

Not perfect. Not constantly blissed out.
But connected. Aligned. Choosing joy together.
Living a full life, not just one ruled by routines and responsibilities.

Let This Be Your Nudge

To all the new or soon-to-be parents out there:
Please don’t wait until things fall apart. Don’t think love will automatically hold everything together. Love is the foundation—but it’s the daily acts of intention that build the home.

Take the walk. Book the sitter. Say the thing. Apologize first. Dream out loud. Laugh together.
Do that weird hobby you love. Go out dancing. Start journaling again. Visit your favorite bookstore. Let your child see that being a parent doesn’t mean disappearing as a person.

You Can Have Both

Yes, parenting is sacred.
But so is your identity.
So is your partnership.
So is your joy.

You are allowed—encouraged, even—to hold on to all of it.

And if you’ve already let some of it go? It’s not too late. You can reclaim it. You can heal. You can rediscover each other and yourself.

You deserve a full, rich life—and so do your kids.
Let them grow up watching two whole people love each other, love themselves, and love their lives. There is no better gift you could give.

With love and lived truth,
~Maggie Hernandez-Knight